Feelings versus emotions – and yes, they are different.
As an educator, I have the fortune to participate in a variety of professional development opportunities, like I am today...right now…literally. As I sit and reflect on a break between sessions, I am pondering some insights gleaned from a lecture by Vancouver’s own Dr. Gordon Neufeld (if you are unaware of his work, I highly recommend checking out the Neufeld Institute). His seminar, Reaching Troubled Kids, is the foundation of my writing today.
While often used interchangeably, emotions and feelings are two very separate yet connected things. So, what is the difference, and why is the distinction so important? Emotions are generated at an unconscious level and can be felt physically within the body (think sadness, joy, anger, excitement, etc.); however, it is totally possible for an emotion to be present inside of you without you being aware of it. Ever find yourself going about your daily activities, only to stop midway through a task and notice you don’t feel “quite right”? This sensation is your mind becoming aware of an emotion that you didn’t know had been tagging along throughout your day. If you can use this newfound awareness to identify what emotion it is you are noticing, then you are feeling your emotion – that is the difference between emotion and feeling in a nutshell. It is also important to note that we feel more than just emotions. We feel hunger, the need to use the bathroom, togetherness, and other sensations necessary for our optimal human functioning.
So, why is this important? There are situations where feeling our emotions gets in the way of the task we need to get done; like, speaking in front of a large audience, or facing imminent danger. In both cases, being present with your emotions would not be helpful for the task at hand, so our emotions go offline for a bit. And this is okay! It is your brain’s way of protecting you. The important piece comes after that situation is over – are you able to recover and bring your emotions back online? This usually happens the next time we feel connected in a safe way, like when a loved one holds you close and tells you what a great job you did with your presentation; or, when a nurse puts her hand on yours after checking you over and giving you a smile letting you know you are out of danger’s way. Recovery is a vital piece in all of this. I leave you with some questions to ponder: how are you feeling? Are you connecting to any emotion in particular? If not, what is going on in your life presently that might have taken your emotions offline?
